Jul 102011

In an effort to make their games more extreme, many publishers have decided to add a male character yelling on the cover of their games. This simple decision increases the extreme quotient of your game by over 67%.  Additionally,  the person buying the game might be thinking that they are being yelled at by the cover.  This will invoke memories of other times they have been yelled at. Most of the time those memories will reignite deep seeded family issues and make the viewer uncomfortable.  To fix this situation, the viewer will often purchase the game to stop the yelling.  If the user has a clean family past, this yelling will just bring up more questions.  What is the person on the cover yelling about?  Are they angry that someone is trying to steal their soul with a photographic device?  Did they just get punched in a sensitive area right before the photo?  We have little hope for ever answering these questions, but I suspect the plot of “The Mystery of the Druids” ties in with this all somehow.

6. Space Crusade: The Voyage Beyond

This is the “Incredible” 22nd Mission. Ol’ Duke here was only expecting 21 missions, his reaction is more than adequate to explain his frustration at this situation.  Missions 1-21 were pretty good, but not quite incredible, Needless to say mission 22 lived up to all of the hype and more.

5.  Fast Food

Food being thrown at you, that I can understand, but glass mugs of root beer? That is just unsafe.  It is like an Insane Clown Posse concert up in there.  Though I am sure the overall mass of an empty platic bottle of Faygo is far less than a glass flagon of root beer, empty or not.  The ICP concert may end up being a safer place than “Fast Food” to have things thrown at your head, unless you are Tila Tequila.  Purple pickles do not exist right? If that is indeed the case, I might also add that  there are 2 purple female masturbatory aids being tossed mouth-ward here.

4. Imperial Glory

This man is very angry about all of these tiny men. Why do they haunt his dreams?  The Imperial life is hard enough without constant nightmares of little men!  In the dream world his sword is ineffective against these lilliputian invaders. This only makes him yell even more.  In this particular nightmarish scenario the tiny men have planted his feet deep within the ground in front of a house and a ship.  That would make any man angry enough to pull out a sword and a rifle at the same time, yes siree.

3. NCAA Football 2010

This photo was taken during the dictation of Mr. Tebow’s memoirs. Being under 25 years old, Mr. Tebow decided to shout his entire life story at the ghost-writer as to emphasize how much he fit into his relatively short life. Tim knew that he had little time left on this mortal coil so he decided this memoir was much needed. You can see that this cover art was taken just as his body began to evaporate into the life-ether of Srryx-zul where he will reign as a god, a god that will definitely wait for marriage until partaking in sexual congress.

2. Call of Duty 2

This man, contrary to popular internet belief, is not yelling a battle cry. The yelp captured on the box art for the popular war game “Call of Duty 2: Duty Calls” is much more garden variety. Someone cut a nasty one. Pvt. Goodson, in the background there, was a bit frightened by the explosion on the ridge above. This caused him to quickly evacuate the K rations he consumed earlier into his trousers. The smell, illicted  the reaction you see above, undoubtedly haunted these men to their graves.

1. The Mystery of the Druids

This is the expression that happens when you unearth a severed body part in a can of Cambells “Chunky” brand soup.

Be Sociable, Share!

Leave a Reply