May 132011
 

I’ve been wanting to make a list about this for a couple weeks and why not now? Here I sit, 4 in the afternoon on my third glass of gin and juice (They keep gettin’ stronger and stronger) on a day off. I’m making this list because frankly, I’m sick and tired of going to bars and having to play all the best drinking music, seriously people, I came to a bar to have a good time, not listen to blistering heavy metal (Especially not Korn, Slipknot, or Mudvayne as they are repeat offenders) and I also don’t want to hear any Rap (Here’s looking at you Eminem, who never wrote a song about drinking in his life!) I want to rock, I’ll allow a few other mellow tracks, but mostly a great drinking song is determined by how proud the band is that they have a problem, and with that I give you, The Top 25 Songs About Drinking!

25- The Eagles – Tequila Sunrise

This one barely made the list, but it’s a great song, if a bit mopey.
Key Line: “Take Another Shot Of Courage.”

24- Lynyrd Skynyrd – The Ballad Of Curtis Loew

Another retrospective song, though not necessarily about drinking, involves it. It’s about a blues player who plays for a kid for drinking money.
Key Line: “Well I got your drinkin money tune up your dobro.”

23- Foreigner – Double Vision

Now this song would probably be about 10 spots high if the chorus wasn’t as wimpy as it is.
Key Line: “I wanna stick around till I can’t see straight”

22- Ozzy Osbourne – Suicide Solution

A song about Bon Scott (Claims Ozzy), or a song about Ozzy (Claims his bassist/Co-writer), either way a classic tune.
Key Line: “Wine is fine but whiskey’s quicker.”

21- Warrior Soul – Punk And Belligerent

Though they never made the big time, this is bragging about what assholes they are when they’re drunk, and what’s not to like about that?
Key Line: “Cause I’m a punk, and Belligerent, and I get drunk, and I don’t give a shit!”

20- The Poor – More Wine Waiter Please

Here’s another little known rock band from the mid-90′s.
Key Line: “More wine, waiter please, I need a drink to knock me off my feet.”

19- The Doors – Roadhouse Blues

You know, I looked around and for a guy who drank himself to death, or at least a John Goodman-esque waistline, there are precious few songs specifically about drinking, this one though may be a bit about drinking and driving, not that I endorse that…
Key Line: “Keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel.”

18- Airbourne – Cheap Wine, And Cheaper Women

The title says it all.
Key Line: “She loved me tender, and she loved me sweet, but then she kicked me out, and now I’m on the street.”

17- The Rolling Stones – Honky Tonk Woman

You gotta love this song, just to show you date-rape goes both ways.
Key Line: “I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis”

16- Bruce Springsteen – Highway Patrolman

Another sad tale about drinking and brotherhood.
Key Line: “Me and Frankie laughin’ and drinkin’, nothin’ feels better than blood on blood.”

15- Poison – Look What The Cat Dragged In

As if just looking at this band wouldn’t tell you they were bad asses, just listen to this song!
Key Line: “I got a girl on the left of me, A girl on the right, I know damn well I slept with both last night”

14- Buckcherry – Whiskey In The Morning

One of the few Buckcherry songs not laced with obscenities.
Key Line: “Can’t stop drinkin’ gonna die!”

13- Rhino Bucket – Bar Time

I have said this before and I will say it again, Rhino Bucket is the greatest bar band ever. They’re like a grittier AC/DC, with a drummer that used to play in AC/DC too!
Key Line: “Early Friday mornin’, got a Gin-soaked throat.”

12- Social Distortion – Down Here With The Rest Of Us

This song may not explicitly be about drinking, but goddamn if it ain’t a great drinking song!
Key Line: “That’s the way it goes, when you’re down here with the rest of us.”

11- Jackyl – Secret Of The Bottle

This is basically a country song, too bad Jackyl didn’t try more of these.
Key Line: “I start to laugh when I’m drinking, I may tell a joke or two, Sometimes I’ll even pretend that I’m still in love with you”

10- The Reverend Hortan Heat – It’s Martini Time

The only thing better than this Rockabilly gold is the album cover.

Key Line: “I live my life for a layer of ice, Just like those poured by my bartender vice.”

9- Metallica - Whiskey In The Jar

I’m going to let you in on a little secret, this version is better than Thin Lizzy’s.
Key Line: “Wack-fo my daddy-o” (Whatever the fuck that means)

8- Kiss – Cold Gin

This is such a classic tune, sounds like he’s even wasted while he’s singing.
Key Line: “The cheepest stuff is all I need, to get back on my feet again.”

7- ZZ Top – Beer Drinkers And Hell Raisers

My ZZ Top runner up was “Driving In Texas While Blind.”
Key Line: “Well baby, don’t you wanna come with me?”

6- Dropkick Murphys – Kiss Me, I’m Shitfaced

Best…punk band…ever.
Key Line:  ”Girls just can’t keep up, I’m a real love machine, I’ve had far better sex while in jail.”

5- Hank III – Country Heroes

Not only is this a great drinking song, but it’s also one of the best country songs ever.
Key Line: Hank’s givin’ me those high times – Cash is gonna sing it low, I’m here gettin’ wasted -
here with my country heroes

4- Johnny Cash – Sunday Morning Coming Down

Another country classic.
Key Line: “The beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad, So I had one more for dessert.”

3- George ThorogoodOne Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

There’s a ton of songs that are great by this guy about drinking, but this one is a cut above the rest.
Key Line: “She said I don’t believe in tryin’ to find no job.”

2- AC/DC – Have A Drink On Me

Runner up: “Whiskey On The Rocks.”
Key Line: “I’m tryin’ to walk a straight line, on sour mash and cheap wine.”

1- Guns N’ Roses – Night Train

I give you, the greatest song about drinking…ever.
Key Line: Loaded like a freight train
Flyin’ like an aeroplane
Feelin’ like a space brain
One more time tonight
Well I’m a west coast struttin’
One bad mother
Got a rattlesnake suitcase
Under my arm
Said I’m a mean machine
Been drinkin’ gasoline
An honey you can make my motor hum
I got one chance left
In a nine live cat
I got a dog eat dog sly smile
I got a Molotov cocktail with a match to go
I smoke my cigarette with style
An I can tell you honey
You can make my money tonight
Wake up late honey put on your clothes
Take your credit card to the liquor store
That’s one for you and two for me by tonight
I’ll be
Loaded like a freight train
Flyin’ like an aeroplane
Feelin’ like a space brain
One more time tonight
I’m on the night train
Bottoms up
I’m on the night train
Fill my cup
I’m on the night train
Ready to crash and burn
I never learn
I’m on the night train
I love that stuff
I’m on the nightrain
I can never get enough
I’m on the night train
Never to return – no
Loaded like a freight train
Flyin’ like an aeroplane
Speedin’ like a space brain
One more time tonight
I’m on the night train
An I’m lookin’ for some
I’m on the night train
So’s I can leave this slum
I’m on the night train
And I’m ready to crash an’ burn
Night train
Bottoms up
I’m on the night train
Fill my cup
I’m on the night train
Whoa yeah
I’m on the night train
Love that stuff
I’m on the night train
An I can never get enough
Ridin’ the night train
I guess, I
I guess, I guess, I guess, I never learn
On the night train
Float me home
Ooh I’m on the night train
Ridin’ the night train
Never to return
Night train

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